Q: What's the name of a drink made with beer and prune ", "It may be that our role on this planet is not to worship God--but to create him.". . Q: Who are the candidates for mayor of Los Angeles? CARNAC: May a camel with a weak kidney condition find your My favorite Carnac(sp?) Q: Name a Chinese diet doctor. A: Sanford and Son and Ed McMahon. Do you dream of being a comedy news writer? A: The American people. The Question: Name one of Washington DCs many famous oxymorons. Q: What do you call a guy who streaks Minneapolis and St. Q: If voters have their way, what message will Jimmy Carter Adam was cursed By the sweat of your brow shall you eat bread (see Genesis 3:19), yet today most people no longer must labor and sweat tirelessly just to eat. A: Plumber's helper. Q: What would you keep if you had to choose between sex and [1] A: A man with a mistress and a Russian Olympics judge. ", My curse: May the bluebird of happiness take careful aim as it flies over you.-- Dave Montuori (Dr.ZRFQ) UUCP: !decvax!mcnc!ncsu!uvacs!damUVa CS dept, C'ville, Va. CSNET: dam@virginia, "May Allah blow sand in your Preparation H.". [1] As Carnac, Carson wore a large feathered turban and a cape. Related Topics. What is missing here is his delivery. Q: Name two rams and a goat. 99 $28.11 $28.11. A: The CIA. A: Pussy Willow. [1] Q: What would you see if Orson Welles dropped his pants? Box 4, Folder 47. ANSWER: Nestea Plunge. Q: What do you get when you squat on a rosy red fire? A: Los Angeles Dodgers. The Question: Name one person bitten by a shark, one person swallowed by big fish, and one person shot by a seal (a Navy Seal). Screenkey. https://www.torchweb.org, Torah Outreach Resource Center of Houston, Please Patronize Our Calendar Advertisers - Full Listing. Carnac the Magnificent was a comedic role played by Johnny Carson on The Tonight Show Starring Johnny Carson. Forum Novelties. All the funny items on this website are fictitious. . A: Stick 'em up! While in the past it was very common for women to die in labor, it is now very rare in modern hospitals. Clarnac: I hope it has instructions to get out of here. , Ed: I hold in my and the last envelop. Curses, Curses, Curses . One of those that I remember was "May a diseased yak marry your sister!" "May a desert weirdo lower his figs into your mother's soup." A: Executive action. eyes? Q: Where does Morris the Cat go when he's lonely? The Question: What did Rodneys doctor tell him when he asked for a second opinion? . you? Ed McMahon: Shogun. During one of his infamous animal interactions, Johnny Carson got up close and very personal with a Burmese python. Johnny Carson "Carnak The Magnificent" One Liners. Return to Carnac the Vote Devining Consultant Page This is seriously one of the best pranks ever! Q: What are Ernest and Julio Gallo? What do you look for when you're tracking three whackas? Q: When should you plan on making a rest stop at a gas As Carnac, Carson wore a large feathered turban and a cape. The Answer: Noah Daniels and Little Mort. Carnac joke: He was holding up objects that supposedly had been fished out of the Hudson River. CARNAC: May the swami of Bagdad squat on your fez. |================================================, Supposedly, the most colorful curse in the world (I don't know whovoted these things in) has something to do with the twenty-four testiclesof the twelve apostles, and originates in one of the Catholic countries ofSouthern Europe. Here are a few of his curses: May a crazed weightlifter clean and jerk your sister. share. Q: What are the only things that can move on Sundays? The Answer: The Senate Intelligence Committee. (Thats a Lady Gaga song), The Question: What are Caitlin Jenners measurements? Browse more quotes by famous person's name. It was named in honor of the ancient Hagia Sophia in Constantinople and played a crucial role . A: KKK, IRS, UCLA. The reason for this is because when the Messiah comes the world will go back to its perfected state the way things were before the Primordial Sin so all the curses will have to be reverted and the world brought back to normal. Q: Name a leak, a Greek and a freak. A: General Curtis LeMay, the Red Baron and Carnac. CARNAC: May you be forced to visit a near-sighted The Question: Name three forms of identification when applying for welfare. One? A: A mule, a horse, Billy Carter. by BMcCJ. I just got a new DVD, and I am really excited about it, but I miss my childhood a little bit I guess. A: 13 Queens Boulevard. Well, as it turns out, Parshas Balak starts off with this wicked king named Balak trying to get this wicked mystic named Bilaam to cast a curse upon the Jewish people. A: Buddy Holly. BILLINGSGATE POST: Johnny Carson was the very best. On Johnny Carsons second to last show, triple threat Bette Midler sang a few songs to commemorate Carsons departure from television. , The Question: How did Marie Osmond lose 50 pounds with NutriSystem? Get Image May your only daughter take up with a yak of another faith. pants. Ed: I hold in my hand the envelopes. McMahon's closing announcement "I hold in my hand the last envelope" was always met with a loud cheer, prompting one final "curse". Q: Name a lord, an award and a fraud. , What do diapers and politicians have in common? The Question: Name the two dummies in the Gray-Daniels Auto Group commercial. CARNAC: May you fall asleep under a camel with post nasal Get Image May a crazy holy man set fire to your nose hair. If you are of a certain age, you might yet remember Carnac the Magnificent, a recurring comedic role played by Johnny Carson on The Tonight Show Starring Johnny Carson. The Question: What do you call a cocktail made up of prune juice and Milk of Magnesia? The cathedral was built in the 11th century and is renowned for its Byzantine architecture, including its stunning mosaics and frescoes. The Question: What was the result of Joe Bidens colonoscopy? Lot #220 ED McMAHON JOHNNY CARSON CARNAC THE MAGNIFICENT HAT. Q: What did the dead raccoon say in his will? , The Question: Name a person who looks like Elmer Fudd, talks like Gomer Pyle, and dresses like Ellen Degeneres. She said, Why didnt you go around me?. Ed: Often times, thats exactly what Clarnac gets. Clarnac needs closed captioning (or that weird looking interpreter that Tate Reeves uses). Q: What do you use to keep your ig from falling off? Question: Name a peanut, a doughnut and a gun nut. pre built n scale train layouts. "Knickerbocker"Q. Johnny Carson entertained audiences for 30 years as the host of The Tonight Show. From Carnac the Magnificent to his very close encounter with a python, heres our list of Carsons greatest moments. A: Snap, crackle, pop. The Question: Name six fictional T.V. Murine? Q: Where do supermarkets store their meat? Watch now: Free with ads. Q: What were some of the earlier forms of Preparation H? The creative innuendos and delivery from Carson proved that the key to humor lies in making an inappropriate joke! This crowd is tougher than a camel pot roast. A: Burn the candle at both ends. Name, in reverse order, a droll comedian, the first name of a popcorn purveyor and a fat, self-absorbed, obnoxious loser!" . Line: 479 Q: Name three things on the endangered species list. Wilbur, Orville, and Wright. Q: What does a stupid altar boy do? Along the theme of reverting curses, there is a fascinating mesorah (tradition) handed down from the Vilna Gaon (1720-1797) that all the curses that mankind was cursed after Adam and Eve sinned in the Garden of Eden, will be reverted and changed back to normal at the end of time, except for the curse of the Serpent, who represents the evil force of Amalek, and whose curse shall remain in place until his utter and total destruction. The character was taken from Steve Allen's essentially identical "Answer Man" segment, which Allen performed during his tenure as host of The Tonight Show in the 1950s. The Question: Describe the U.S. economy under the Obiden administration. In 1987, Myrtle Young came on The Tonight Show to show off her rare collection of potato chips. Line: 24 If a joke (often a very bad pun) generated a negative response, Carnac would give a disapproving look, then cast a comedic "Middle Eastern curse" upon the audience (such as "May your favorite daughter be featured in NFL Films' Sack of the Week", "May a bloated yak change the temperature of your jacuzzi", "May you walk a mile under a diseased camel", "May a demented deer lock horns with your daughter's Kawasaki", "May the fleas of a thousand camels infest the crotch of the person seated next to me, and may his arms be too short to scratch", "May a diseased camel be sick on your prayer rug", or "May your proctologist be a frustrated concert trombonist"). If laughter is the best medicine, this crowd doesnt have a prescription. Box 4, Folder 46. Q: Who do you go to when you have a pain in your hickory A: WKRP In Cincinnati. Carnac The Magnificent Quotes May your Perrier water be secretly bottled in Tijuana. They've been kept in A: The American condor, the American eagle and the American Q: What does it say on the side of Phyllis Diller's dress? May the Shah of Iran seek refuge under your sister's skirt. A: Bible belt. Q: How many football games were televised over The announcement implied Carnac was responsible for some scandal or disaster currently in the news, as "And now, the great seer, soothsayer, and sage, Carnac the Magnificent." The character was introduced in 1964. A: Eight is enough. The Question: How much is Oprah Winfrey worth? May your only daughter take up with a yak of another. Q: What is a drink made with soy sauce and prune juice? May your first born male child be trapped in a steam room with the VillagePeople. The Tonight Show: four-digit numbers (ostensibly the last four digits of an audience member's phone number).Carson Carnac the Magnificent: Carson plays a psychic . The Question: What did comedian Richard Pryor do when his nose got too fat from snorting cocaine? 200 views, 3 upvotes. A: The Newlywed Game. In article <42@kestrel.ARPA> t@kestrel.ARPA writes: > Comedic or not, "May the fleas of a thousand camels infest your armpits" is. Feel free to laugh, but beware! Another that I heard last night on the syndicated "Carson's Comedy Classics": "May the Swami of Baghdad squat on your fez", "May a diseased yak take a liking to your sister! May a sick ox make bubbles in your hot tub. , The Question: Who is the Democrat Congressman in Mississippis 2nd Congressional District? drip. The Question: What are three things less endangered than our freedom? A: SAG Strike. The comedy came from an unexpected question following a seemingly straightforward answer. Q: What do you get on your fon if you leave it out all -- -------------------------------------------------------------"they forcibly extracted the word 'but' from his vocabulary, and locked him in a room with 10 economists"-------------------------------------------------------------. Q: Describe Mrs. Stillman on a bus that doesn't make rest Prime Video. Carnac the Magnificent was one of the most popular recurring roles that Johnny Carson played on his show in 1964. A: Last Tango in Paris. The Answer: At least you can get four quarters out of a dollar. Q: Describe the Nixon income tax deductions. ", "Sis boom bah." The Answer: Liar, Liar, Pantsuit on Fire. . Size: One SizeColor: Jumbo Gold/Purple Verified Purchase. Q: What have the oil companies given our wildlife? tissue. Funny story written by Dr. Billingsgate. A: Cyclone. No more years! NO ONE! A: A thousand clowns. plunger. [3][4] As a more serious device, the concept had served as the basis for several game shows including the CBS Television Quiz, That's the Question and the still-running Jeopardy!, which aired on NBC for much of Carson's run on Tonight. , The Question: How do you say Fauci in Mandarin? May a desert weirdo lower his figs into your mother's soup. May the Shah of Iran seek refuge under your sister's skirt. "What do you want to avoid doing when you shave her bocker? Q: Describe Raymond Burr's undershorts. The Question: Whats the difference between a dollar bill and LeBron James? Carnac the Magnificent In one of his most famous sketches, Johnny Carson channeled his psychic abilities as "Carnac the Magnificent." Carson, dressed in a turban and cape, would predict the. A: Supercalifragilisticexpialodocious and detente. Function: _error_handler, File: /home/ah0ejbmyowku/public_html/application/views/user/popup_harry_book.php Diary of a Mad Baseball Coach by Rick Clarke, (Original and slightly used comedy by Rick Clarke), I loved Johnny Carson and his character, Carnac the Magnificent. QUESTION: What does an alligator get on welfare? 4.0 out of 5 stars Great for Carnac The Magnificent. [+6] - George - 11/14/2011 Answer: A goober, a cruller, and OmSigDavid. [+5] - jespah - 11/15/2011 Answer: Guns 'n Roses Question: Name two things OmSig brings with him to a first date. May the fleas of a thousand camels nest in your jock strap. Q: How did Marlon Perkins explain the rash on his thigh? However, it was his allusion to the old college cheer that gained him the loudest and longest laugh of the night. Q: Name three people who like to bomb. . "carnac the magnificent" Memes & GIFs. As Allen acknowledged in his bookThe Question Man, this bit had been created in Kansas City in 1951 by Bob Arbogastand used onTheTom PostonShowin New York where it eventually ended up onThe Steve Allen Show, much to the surprise of both Bob and Steve. The Question: Name 8 things that will soften your brain. May a desert weirdo lower his figs into your mother's soup. "Oh, "Johnny: "It was so cold, the politicians had their hands in their ownpockets. A: Kumquat. Function: require_once. alley? [2] As Allen acknowledged in his book The Question Man, this bit had been created in Kansas City in 1951 by Bob Arbogast and used on The Tom Poston Show in New York where it eventually ended up on The Steve Allen Show, much to the surprise of both Arbogast and Allen. Q: What's in Jimmy Dean's sausages? seen them before. A: Double trouble. the memoirs of Richard Nixon. One of Carson's most well-known characters, Carnac was a "mystic from the East" who could psychically "divine" unknown answers to unseen questions. Although Bilaams curses were many, all of the other curses - save the one for Houses of Prayer and Study - eventually came to pass. ANSWER: Kirk Douglas, Terhan Bey and Earl Butz. Signed, the Honorable John V. Lindsay, Mayor, New York City." As part of that same bit, he held up a clam with a note attached that "A triple and a double, catcher's and fielder's, and Dolly Parton""Name two big hits, two big mitts..and a famous country singer! In this memorable skit, Carson and Betty White stripped down to their skivvies to reenact the divorce proceedings for humanitys first couple. A: Shareholder. Is that about right, sir? The Question: Describe how marriage is a 3-ring circus? In the ongoing sketch, Carnac would draw a sealed envelope from a mayonnaise jar, and hold it to his forehead. The Phantom of the Opera, The Lion King, and Donald Trumps mouth. envelopes. Q. Q: Where will the president of NBC be working soon? Q: What looks delicious, quivers all over and can't talk? The Question: What are Kim Kardashians measurements? A: Lo-fat. May a toothless holy man give your grandmother a hickey. I'm being held prisoner on a God-forsaken island! Q: How much time has Governor Brown spent in California ED: Certainly worth waiting for [1] A: R-O-L-A-I-D-S. After Carnac said an answer, McMahon would frequently repeat it in a booming voice ostensibly as a help to the audience setting up a sneer, putdown, or some other comic reaction from Carson. I hope it makes you laugh. this year? He had a character named Carnac the Magnificent, who was a turban-wearing mystic. A: "The Front." Saint Sophia Cathedral is a UNESCO World Heritage Site and one of the most significant landmarks of Kiev, Ukraine. A: Jello and "Charlie's Angels." former Twitter advisor for President Donald J. Trump, The Official, Unofficial Hinds Baseball Hall of Fame, Follow Diary of a Mad Baseball Coach by Rick Clarke on WordPress.com. Carnac held each envelope to his forehead while "divining" the answer, then tore open the end of the envelope and loudly blew into it before removing the index card with the question. In article <9@psivax.UUCP> a@psivax.UUCP (Al Schwartz) writes: In article <9@psivax.UUCP>, a@psivax.UUCP (Al Schwartz) writes: I remember some of these from some book or other on the joys of. Sunday, 16 December 2018. Check the NSFW checkbox to enable not-safe-for-work images. RMMD: And so the "Buck and Truck Cursed Swinger Saga" begins. Clarnac doing verbal comedy bit for the hearing impaired. Carnac the Magnificent, in which Carson played a psychic who clairvoyantly divined the answer to a question contained in a sealed envelope. The Question Describe the sound made when a sheep explodes., McMahon would always announce near the end, I hold in my hand thelastenvelope, at which the audience would applaud wildly, prompting Carnac to pronounce a comedic curse on the audience, such as May a flock of wild geese leave a deposit on your breakfast!, May your sister elope with a camel!, May a diseased yak take a liking to your sister, or the most famous: May the bird of paradise fly up your nose!. CARNAC: May your only son become a Pointer Sister. No one knows the contents of stardew valley weapon tier list; mississippi state treasurer Carnac: May the nurse in your hospital room bring you a frozen bedpan. , Ed: I hold in my hand the last envelop. A: Shoo-be-doo-be-doo. May your children not forget you as they kneel to pray. A: Sir Lawrence Olivier, the Oscars and the oil shortage. Contents A: Fit to be tied. . , The Question: Name a good local divorce law firm. (Dr. Wuhan) , The Question: What is Kamala Harris approval rating? cleanup team? , The Question: What were the names of the two turkeys the president pardoned for Thanksgiving? A: Keep your eyes on your prize. Q: How do you tell a Sha not to do something? , The Question: What is the most compelling reason for a mask mandate? CARNAC THE MAGNIFICENT ED McMAHON: Heaven has no brighter star than our next stellar guest, that omnipotent master of the east and former manicurist to Howard Hughes, Carnac the Magnificent. Q: What's the smart thing to do if a Dallas Cowgirl touches Q: What do you call it when old topless dancers refuse to These curses were always absurd, and many of them involved yaks, as in: "May an unclean yak sit on your dinner." "May a sick yak leave a gift in your sock drawer." "May a bloated yak change the temperature of your . and Supermanreplies "Johnny Carson, 1967" to which Lex remarks "Right. ", -- -----------------------------------------------------------------------------Rudy Rumohr Jr. 3339 N. Charles St Apartment 1-ALUUCP: ihnp4!whuxcc!jhunix!ins_armr -or- Baltimore, MD 21218 seismo!umcp-cs!jhunix!ins_armr -or- allegra!hopkins!jhunix!ins_armrARPANET: ins_armr%jhunix@wiscvm.ARPA. Q: How do you say "Good morning" to your diddly Q: Describe a double feature with Earthquake and The Q: How does Howard Cosell call his toupee? The Answer: Big Ben, Dak Prescott, and a politicians campaign promises. Q: What would you find in Superman's bathroom? , The Question: Name a person who only says Jesus when he stumps his toe in the dark. A: A, B, C, D, E, F, G. Although he retired in 1992 and died in 2005, the consensus remains that Johnny Carson was the greatest late night-talk show ever. CARNAC: May a diseased yak drop his cud in your hooped The Carnac character and routine also closely resemble Ernie Kovacs Mr. A: All the President's men. A: Rat pack. The Question: What is the name of Trumps new Vodka? CARNAC: May your desert pension fund be managed by Jimmy A: "Coming home." "May your finger get stuck in your nose, and the nail continue to grow", (I have forgotten the origin of this one). hope chest. A: Rocky, Network and The Silver Streak. Unable to come to an agreement over alimony, God intervenes to help Adam and Eve divvy up their marital belongings. . work? (You should die young enough for her to walk there under her own steam.). (the question), Sherman LangSystems Design Engineering "May you have an interesting life! Carnac the Magnificent, a turbaned psychic, could answer questions before seeing them. One was a bottle with a message in it that read, "Help! share. Reviewed in the United States on April 2, 2015. seats. Any resemblance to persons, living or dead, is entirely coincidental or is intended purely as a satire, parody or spoof. The Answer: 2 million, 83 thousand, three-hundred thirty-three dollars and thirty three cents per pound. , Ed: I hold in my hand the last envelop. A: Head and shoulders. A: Once is not enough. A: Sale of the Century. The Answer: Become a professional politician. I hold in my hand these Line: 478 Q: What does Billy Carter eat on a sesame-seed bun? Line: 192 promises. Or are you just happy to see me? Make a meme Make a gif Make a chart The Magical Thinking of Trump. The Question: Name an elephant, a donkey, and a Rino. A client of mine was hosting a dinner party, wanted to entertain her guests by re-enacting this skit between Johnny Carson and Ed . A: Shake-N-Bake. Clarnac: (Glares at Ed) Clarnac is supposed to be the funny guy. A: "Small craft warning!" A: Ben Gay. ED: And now I hold in my hand the last envelope. Q: What noise do sheep make when they laugh? The Question: What is the sure fire way to get rich beyond your wildest dreams without doing a thing. The Answer: A Baptist preacher and a College football coach. CARNAC: May a diseased yak squat in your hot tub. Q: What do you say when you want to get your Gung to stop? A: The Loch Ness Monster. If one of Carnacs jokes (often a very bad pun) generated a negative response, Carnac would give a disapproving look, then cast a comedic "Middle Eastern curse" upon the audience. nowadays. Images tagged "johnny carson". May your mother-in-law not have to be carried to your funeral. , The Question: Who is the longest surviving member of the Japanese Air Force? So how does this connect to the weekly Torah portion, you ask? I have been collecting records, CDs and DVDs. The Question: What instructions do you get when your proctologist used to be a photographer? A: Rosy red cheeks. Q: What do you use to gift wrap a zipper? The Question: Whats the name of Bidens black, female affirmative action nominee to the Supreme Court? (Crowd applauds) #10. ", Jan Elliott AT&T Bell Labs, Holmdel, NJ .hounx!jansz. I have been collecting some things that are kind of obsolete now. which sometimes gets more of a laugh than the entire Carnac routine previous. More Quotes from Carnac the Magnificent show! May a crazy holy man set fire to your nose hair. Q: What is a mother of 27 children? Carnac the Magnificentwas a recurring comedic role played by Johnny Carsonon The Tonight Show Starring Johnny Carson. The Answer: Hes 97 and we dont know where the hell he is. Get a random spoof news story. toilet is stopped up? A: Milk and honey. A: Kaiser wrap. While he was holding the snake, its tail wondered in between Carsons legs! , The Question: What do you call 435 House members and 100 Senators at the bottom of the ocean. During his tenure, the late-night funny man interviewed everyone from President John F. Kennedy to Muhammad Ali. questions having never The Answer: The Pinocchio Treatment and Recovery Center. Adam and Eve had more problems than that forbidden apple. Q: What do cannibals find hard to digest? A: Earth, Wind and Fire. Carpenter During Sweeps 1984. CARNAC: May a bag of Pop Rocks explode in your shorts. MORE OF THE BEST OF CARNAC THE MAGNIFICENT. The Answer: An Oscar, an Emmy, a Grammy, and two Golden Globes. [9], File: /home/ah0ejbmyowku/public_html/application/views/user/popup_modal.php , The Question: What is the oath of office for all politicians? Q: Name the father of Mrs. Olsen's illegitamate baby. As well, Eve was cursed that her husband should rule over her (see Genesis ibid), yet with the Womens Rights movement this has changed in a big way. The character was taken from Steve Allens essentially identical Answer Man segment, which Allen performed during his tenure as host ofThe Tonight Showin the 1950s. resuscitation with a sick lizard. Paul? A: Grape Nuts. Line: 107 Story. A: Igloo. Sometimes Clarnac has to leave quickly. be sending Georgia soon? A: Hickory Dickory Dock. Can't decide? A: Bedbug. Find Funny GIFs, Cute GIFs, Reaction GIFs and more. Please see our terms and conditions and disclaimer. Q: What does your skalli do when it's happy? A: Pipe dream. . Johnny Carson Carnak The Magnificent One Liners, Vladimir Putin, Kim Jong-Un, Justin Bieber, & Dick Cheney Form Secret Super He-Man Poker Club, A List of 10 Little Known Facts About David Letterman, ABC Sends "Charlie's Angels" To That Big Cancelled TV Show Studio In The Sky, Joan Rivers on the 'Tonight Show': "I still got a chance! One of Carson's most well-known characters, Carnac was a "mystic from the East" who could psychically"divine" unknown answers to unseen questions. Q: What do you say when calling your quat? Q: Name a focal that goes both ways. A: Double hernia. Q: What do you call a drink made with un-cola and prune ), The Question: Who is the largest conservative in the Republican Party? A: Short eyes. NO ONE [at this shout, Carnac always acts startled] knows the contents of these envelopes but you, in your mystical and borderline divine way, will ascertain the answers having never before heard the questions. Q: What does the Jolly Green Giant use to hitchike with? Q: Who old do you have to be to date Princess Margaret? #10. Interestingly, the Talmud in Sanhedrin 105b states that even though Bilaam;s curses were changed to blessings at that time, they all eventually reverted to curses, except for the blessing of Batei Keneses and Batei Midrash. sister's hooped skirt. A: Kaleidoscope. A: Old wive's tale. May you be blessed with a son so smart he learns the mourner's prayerbefore his Bar-Mitzvah speech. The Question: Whats a great name for a proctologist? Q: How does a stupid person spell "backgammon"? Carnac the Magnificent was one of the highlights of the Johnny Carson Show. This crowd would applaud for a train wreck. Praise the Lord and pass the ammunition. A: Hog jowls, chitlins, black-eyed peas, cornpone, hush Q: Name a Kirk, a Turk and a jerk. A: Sissss, Boooom, Baaaaah! Q: What will you get if you ignore a trucker's blockade? Q: Why didn't Mrs. Franklin have any kids? . Q: Name the loser in the 1976 presidential race. His reign on NBC's Tonight show lasted just a few months short of . A: Around the world in 80 days. In one of his most famous sketches, Johnny Carson channeled his psychic abilities as Carnac the Magnificent. Carson, dressed in a turban and cape, would predict the answers to questions that were sealed in an envelope. A: Zippo Marx. by ThomasFay. Q: What does Zsa Zsa Gabor call the center of a church? A: Unleash. Q: What do you call a military coup led by General The Answer: Because the employees are smoking the 11 herbs and spices. CARNAC: May the winds of the Sahara blow a desert scorpion The crowd burst into laugher as the handler attempted to free The Tonight Show host from the animals grasp. QUESTION: Name a clock, a jock and a crock. A: Quarter Pounder. The answer: "Sis boom bah." They are adding a Carnac the Magnificent bit to their shows and need a turban, which is more of a cross between costume and prop. May the bird of paridise fly up your noseMay an elephant caress you with its toesMay your wife be plaqued with runners in her hoseMay the bird of paridise fly up your nose, Ron Williams (not Tom Nadas, but an incredible simulation)--, UUCP: {decvax,linus,ihnp4,uw-beaver,allegra,utzoo}!utcsri!tomCSNET: tom@toronto, "Look over there, a dry ice factory. Q: What kind of holly would you find growing on your buddy? Q: Who will they find sooner than Jimmy Hoffa? This was to some degree a variation on Steve Allen's recurring "The Question Man" sketch. A: Baja. tooth? folks who ran "The Tonight Show" in the 70's. hair". Is that a reptile? A: Madame Kitty. 596 views, 2 upvotes, 1 comment. A: Never on Sunday. A little hard to keep on. The audience was silent as Carson and Midler sang an a cappella version of the song Heres That Rainy Day. Its a sweet and sincere moment that youd be hard pressed to find in todays late-night lineup. As a child of four can plainly see, these envelopes have been hermetically sealed.
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